Humans and their idioms!

Today, in a meeting at work, I heard one of my collegues say 'To kill two birds in one stone'. Though I have heard it a million times, this time it made thinking. It occured to me what if birds start to think in the same lines about humans, such as 'to hit two human heads in one shit drop' or something like that. I smiled to myself gently and started listening to whatever was then the active conversation. At the back of my mind 'hit two heads in one shit drop' kept lingering on, as if it needed to be extended to other such creative imaginations or at least a blogpost.

Then I started thinking about random phrases people say without thinking of the subject involved in the phrase. Humans give themselves the right to write idioms about all random things on earth without asking anyone about it. They just gain undefined superiority over everything.

I guess the human race would understand only when other creatures start writing idioms about them. For example, a pet dog saying 'a screaming human seldom beats'. Or a little bird saying 'an early head gets the shit' or 'a head in sight is worth two in the house' might teach them a lesson or two.

But who knows if they already do in their own language! But one thing I'm pretty sure is that they don't drag everything they see on sight to write idioms, unlike Humans. Sun never says stuff like 'Make sunstroke while the dude walks' or the daylight does not say 'beat the living tubelights out of him' or the mud does not say 'as clear as man'.

There absolutely is no point in creating analogies using idioms. As if the way people formed languages and words in languages is not enough, they went a step ahead and started thinking of such idioms too.

The kind of stuff humans do with their brains, Gods like Me can never fathom!

Impulse..

I have an impulse to write a post on my trip to India, but did not want to go against my track record of keeping all my recent posts fairly small. Writing a small post on India trip is simply unfair, which is when I realized I have a travel blogspot just for this purpose. So, if you are interested, check the post here with a few pictures.

If not, forget it!

Paiyya..

...it shouldn't have been just Paiyya.

Thu!

Angadi Theru...

...too much of reality.

I have never liked it in movies.

iSneeze, iTravel

Before I stepped into the meeting room at work, I put a gum into my mouth and sneeed four times. My colleague diligently kept saying 'bless ya' every single time I sneezed. It was not new to me. Once I'm done, he gave me a strange look and asked if I'm alright. I smiled and kept walking into the room.

Everytime I eat a gum (with mint flavor), I sneeze. I don't sneeze five times or three times. I sneeze exactly four times. I wonder if my body has a timer or something. And what is even more strange is when I see the sun in the mornings while going to work, I sneeze. I stop, sneeze four times and then get into the car. After four times, the sneeze stops abruptly as if its done for the day. I'm at a point where I consider this almost a ritual.

It is not just me who has strange mannerisms like these. There are things around me that are slightly weird too. When I unlock my work laptop in the mornings, I type Ctrl+Alt+Del exactly thrice before it wakes up. I have tried hitting Ctrl+Alt+Del twice and waiting for a few minutes. The laptop would not respond. For some reason likes to be hit thrice.

Even my iphone cranks up once in a while and when I receive a call, the sign 'slide to answer' will not respond no matter how much I slide (I have tried to slide like hell, with all fingers, even toes at times!). I need to slide slowly exactly four times before the call gets answered.

I have more rituals like these if you are interested. Every time I travel to India on vacation, I bring up the topic in any unrelated conversation (like this). And then once I reach India, as if its a birth right of every Indian who travels to India on vacation, I write about how much Chennai has changed in terms of lifestyle and how much the city has not changed in terms of climate and traffic. I consider that sinful if I don't write my thoughts on India every two years (if not lesser). Its all part of my rituals.

But then you may ask what exactly is the point of this post besides my sneezing habits and intimating people of my India trip. There is none.

When has there been a point while one writes a blogpost anyways?!

Vinnaithaandi Varuvaya

After watching the movie, I remember more lame scenes than sane ones. I remember more lame dialogues than good ones. Simbu absolutely lacked screen presence and his dialogue delivery is pathetic. Script/screenplay looked very 'ungowtham-Menon-like'. Such a 'beaten-to-death' story too. Only good thing about the movie is the music. Though I sort of liked the last 10 minuetes, to sit through 2 hours of what led to it is totally not worth it.

If gowtham menon thinks he is one of the great directors in tamil film industry, its time he rethinks that.

Shutter Island

The movie begins with thundering bgm giving a erie feeling to the whole initial thought process of the viewer. The lighting and the camera perspective adds to the effect of the island that has the facility for the criminally insane people.

Frame after frame, the movie keeps the viewer guessing and the momemtum continues till the very end. For some people, the guessing might continue even after the end.

A great fitting climax, suspenseful storyline, excellent characterization - all make it a fantastic movie. Go watch!

Series called Life - first episode

Life had been treating him very well. He'd bought himself a Wii console a couple of weeks ago and a whole suite of games too. Amazing how the game brought forth his inner childhood. But like a reality check, his parents had been asking him about his wedding plans very now and then for a few months now, ever since they found out about the girl. He just had to to give them a date for the wedding. They are ready to take off and fly like rockets once he gave the 'Go'. But he wouldn't , not so easily.

About two months ago, he went on a backpacking trip with her to Havasu Falls in Grand Canyon area. They camped alongside a creek, not too far from the turquoise Havasupai falls. They were cozy inside the tent in spite of it being a fairly cold evening. The place was quite dark except for the moonlight shimmering slightly through the tent. After few minutes of chatting and laughing about some random stuff, he casually took a small box out of his pocket and opened it.

With his usual smile, he told her that he loved her more than anything in this world and asked her if she would like to marry him. He had a ring in his hands. She did not expect it. She was surprised, shocked and slowly smiled, only to nod her head and say 'Yes'.

To him, it all seemed very matter of fact, like asking her to go to Burger King and get some fries. More than the very act of asking her, the preparation that went into the whole proposal seemed big to him. He had to surprise her, which meant hiding a lot of information from her. He had to buy the ring, pack it in a way that she wouldn't find it, have it safe in the pockets of his Cargo pants, which he planned to wear for the 10-mile hike to get to the falls. Quite a lot of meticulous planning went into it, he gave himself a pat on his shoulder.

All the pieces of the puzzle were falling into place slowly. He looked at all his single friends and mocked them in his own style. He was almost always seen as a happy person. For a committment phobe like him, getting ready for a serious relationship seemed strange! Very much unlike himself, he thought. And then one fine day, he was bored at work. And blogged the story.

Second episode here.

3 idiots

...bollywoodish.

Fun and entertaining, but as against the whole 'Five point someone' controversy, I hardly saw the movie made out of the book. A few scenes here and there, but overall the movie is quite different from the book. Chetan Bhagat by the way...ok, why mention it.

Few thoughts:

1. Aamir khan is very good, he sure can pull off any role with ease.

2. Madhavan, in his right senses, should never accept a college student role. Not even after he loses 20 pounds.

3. Second half of the movie was better than the first half.

4. Kareena Kapoor's sister is very good looking. Sure, better than Kareena.

5. I made myself a promise to visit Ladakh once in life.

Up in the air..

...makes one wonder if people do such things in life. George Clooney is a professional hired to fire people. He travels around the country visiting companies that are downsizing people. He travels way too much (about 300 days in a year) and his sole aim is to get 10 million frequent flier miles. The movie revolves around his lifestyle, his relationships and philosophies in life. Barring a few scenes that are slightly humorous, the movie makes the audience wait for something eventful to happen in the movie, which indeed does not.

I should call such movies 'straight-line' ones.

[P.S: Unless you visit the theatre to watch a movie you want to watch and that movie is booked and you dont have another choice, dont choose this movie!]

Avatar...

...makes me wonder how far one's imagination could go! James Cameroon has done a splendid job in writing such a creative story line. Apparently, he had this idea about 10 years ago and worked on this movie for 4 years before it released yesterday. The computer graphics are spell-binding and makes one completely forget that most of the movie is done through animation in the first place. Smallest details in the movie amazed me the most.

The movie starts grandly, becomes a little slow in the second half and later picks up pace/interest towards the end. If you have the opportunity, watch the movie in an IMAX. Or a 3D IMAX would even be better.

Bottom line: Fucking Awesome.

P.S: I hate to be one of those sky-people. But sadly, I am!

Invictus!

If one has not seen Nelson Mandela's photographs before, one could easily beleive Mr.Mandela is a hollywood actor. None could have performed the role of Nelson Mandela better than Morgan Freeman. Sports movies are typically inspirational, this one beats them all. The movie does scream Clint Eastwood's style in every scene.

Invictus - a fine movie!

P.S Did I say I'm a new fan of Matt Damon? And did I say my movie days are back? And did I say I've booked for Avatar IMAX 3D show for tonight? That's right!

Communication - thru characteristic facts!

As I was drinking my Pepsi during lunch, I looked at the tin and read the Calorie/Nutrition contents. It said calories:155 per container. It made me ponder a little about the Nutrition facts. There is not a single packed food item one could see in this country that does not come with the Nutrition facts. The reason must be the FDA regulations. Even Haldiram's Rasgulla tin, though packed in India, comes printed with the Nutrition facts.

It does give a very good insight into what kind of food one is dealing with. It helps one to understand a food or drink better before consuming it. It would be so nice if we get such an insight into people we interact with too.

One would assume it's an awesome idea to stamp people's foreheads with their 'Characteristic Facts'. It would certainly be nice to know one's fat and cholestrol content just by looking at them. Or perhaps their blood pressure rate and heart beat rate to judge their endurance before you say something stupid.

One can also be a little more creative and customize the 'Facts' differently for Men and Women. Men could have itemized information such as 'Potato chips Saturation Limit', 'TV endurance Level' or 'Sex craving limit' and women could have 'Shopping Spree Sensation', 'Footwear fantasy' or 'Weight consiousness limit'. Of course, all these in addition to the basic information. With all such collective information, one can stay away from people who seem complete nutcases. Or perhaps approach some with more ease.

This, if properly followed, I humbly think, would become a great leap in the field of effective human communication!

Nearest Exit

Couple of days ago, I was on my flight from Phoenix to Philadelphia. As the flight attendant announced the mandatory safety instructions, I was wondering what the real purpose of those instructions were, as not a single passenger to my knowledge cared to listen with the seriousness with which the instructions were given.

It occured to me that most passengers in the flight would have heard those safety instructions probably a million times before. Made me thinking why even announce when people seldom care. Such instructions would be helpful only for first time travellers or those with selective amnesia. But in a local flight in the US, I doubt how many of them could there be.

For flights operating in third world countries, I understand the need for such instructions (I remember how I stopped everything I was doing and listened to the instructions the first time I travelled from India). For most other countries, I think its a simple waste of time. One could agree and say that the airlines could possibly use the time to start serving the food a little early or on a red-eye, switch the damn lights off so that people could doze off.

Or we would know only when there is an emergency and when people scurry around to find the nearest exit! That would be fun to watch.

Baseball World series!

I was having a light phone conversation with a desi friend who lives in New York. He was watching Phillies vs Yankees baseball match on tv and as Phillies was on the verge of winning, he said something that a typical yankee fan would say when their team lose. I laughed at his reaction and said "okay!!! what difference is it going to make to us as to who wins these games anyways?"

He patriotically replied "Hey, I'm a yankee!". I laughed again and said "He! don't talk like a local" for which he replied "Yeah! I have lived in New york for about 5 years now!". I asked him "So, that makes you a die-hard fan of yankees, huh?! Its like when my friend asked all the H1s and F1s to control their emotions when they were talking too much about Obama and US elections. He asked them 'do any of you have voting rights here? Then shut up!"

My New york friend laughed at this and said "Baseball fascinates me, I even have a baseball glove in my house". I smiled, he continued "knowledge of baseball helps me have intelligent conversations at work". I agreed.

But this whole drama behind the Phillies victories in the world series is completely incredible. Most local tv channels mention Phillies at least once an hour, there is no single FM radio channel that does not talk about Phillies world series win. Wait a minute, did I say 'world series'? Shouldn't 'world' mean 'all countries'? The first time I heard the term 'world series', with my poor knowledge of baseball then (as much as I knew India doesn't play the game), I thought at least European nations paticipate in such series. Later I found out that only US states participate or even better, only US cities participate. Fantastic.

I'm not against the game, but the whole concept of having about 30 teams or so (all within US and a team from Canada) and then calling it a 'world series' is a little funny. Calling it 'National series' or 'American Championship', etc., would be a little apt. Though I hear that there are other countries that play baseball, they don't participate in such 'world series' making the whole term and American nomenclature debatable.

Nevertheless, I respect the enthusiasm and the fanfare behind the game. Living in the Philadelphia area, there has been so much going on because of recent Phillies sequence of victories. People come dressed in red most of the days to work and the HR gladly welcomes it. They even recommend every employee to sport a red phillies attire on friday and if one is not a fan, they say its a shame! Well well!