Honesty..

...don't believe the hype!

Algorithm at a urinal!

One trivia I may never fathom completely is the amount of importance women give to the position of their seating in a restaurant or a movie theatre. In resturants, when offered a choice to select the seat, I happily defer it to the women, for I have always known the seating position for some reason seems vital to them. The same happens at a movie theatre too. But if I go out to eat with guys, I'm sure the last thing that will go on in any of our minds is where we sit in the restaurant. We go to eat. We eat.

Thinking about how much of importance guys attach to such situations, one thing that perplexes me is the algorithm behind the urinal selection in a men's room. That's right!

When a guy enters a restroom, among various thoughts running across his mind, there must be one complicated algorithm to select the urinal of his choice. Factors that may act as inputs to his algorith may include (but not restricted only to) distance, cleanliness, access and juxtaposition.

If there are a series of urinals, some people select the one that's right in the middle, yet having unoccupied urinals on either side. Some choose to walk to the farthest end of the restroom to begin the work. Some always select the ones closest to the hand-wash area or the exit. Some never use urinals - they directly go to the flush toilets.

I have a friend who cant pee when someone talks to him or make him laugh. Such people have their own modified algorithm, bringing more factors into consideration before taking the final decision.

One may conclude that there are a lot of such activities and calculations going in a restroom, not to forget this. Most algorithms, I guess can't be generalised, for as they say 'To each his own'.

Only if one closely observes the human behaviour, such unsolved mysteries can be attempted for a proven solution. Only if.

B2...

By virtue of inviting company, one graduates to a coveted position of a respectful son and in the process, obviating even the slightest house hold work done otherwise and basking in the seduction of opulent meal three times a day (at times four), to ultimately end up as one seasoned lazy bum.

Cell phone driving - What's your IQ?!

This afternoon, I was driving back to work from lunch and I was talking on cell phone. No hands-free, no speaker phone. Regular hand held style. State-law here restricts usage of hand-held phones while driving. I saw a cop in distance and immediately switched to speaker phone.

A strange thought occured to Kabali. He has been driving cars for about 6 years now. He loves driving so much and believes strongly if one loves to do an activity, one performs well in that field. Also, because of cell phone driving, he has never committed any mistakes such as having the car shift lanes without control nor run over the curb nor miss a traffic light.

But not all people may be good at such multi-tasking. Some people do screw up. It was mentioned in the web somewhere that more than 30% of accidents in the UK last year were due to cell phone driving.

Kabali's argument is that the IQ level of such people must be quite low. Yes, IQ level!

Here is his recommendation: When a cop pulls over, he should conduct a quick IQ test on the driver. If the IQ level is good enough, the cop could conclude that the person is capable of multi-tasking without any problems and should let the driver go. If the IQ level is low, then he can issue a violation ticket for cell phone driving.

I'm basing the argument on the logic that every single human being is different and that their capability on doing different things vary too. Having said that, I don't understand how the law and order can be so generalised. Atleast in areas where it could be customized for people, it should be.

Kabali honestly thinks so.

How Blogging is like sex?

Beware: PG13.

Blogging can be directly compared to only one aspect of real life - Sex after marriage. I‘m 98.9986978% sure.

When one starts to blog, the inexplicable happiness of expressing and sharing would make one want to write more. Writing good blogposts would make one a delightful person, because of the ‘happiness partaking’ that happens. Like the sex after marriage.

In the early days of blogging, one would want to write a minimum of one blogpost a day or at times even multiple posts a day. Most times, all one would think of is to do nothing but write a blogpost. Like the sex after marriage.

But things don’t seem to remain the same. The priorities change, interests shift and thoughts drift. The frequency of blogpost falls with time. The number reduces from one post a day to one post a week, then to once a month and eventually to 'maybe I should visit my blog and see how it looks'. Like the sex after marriage.

The author is not smart enough to experience the above phenomena yet. But he is smart enough to think!

Update: After the last post, I got a new camera and did a super cool trip this weekend. I'm feeling happy!

What I didn't want to happen...

Last saturday, for the first time in this country, I felt deprived. There are certain incidents in life that we hear about, but it never bothers us because we'll be certain that it'll never happen to us. But apparently, at times, it does.

As a welcome break from the winter, the recent weeks have been bright and sunny. Past saturday was no exception. I set off to Longwood gardens with Kavitha, had a great time clicking pictures of tulips and lillies in the 1200 acres of garden land. Some of the photos turned out quite well, made me one real glad dude.

I had planned to end the day watching the movie 'Soloist'. There I was at King of Prussia mall movie theatre for the 7.30pm show. Movie was very good. I came out of the theatre at around 9.40pm laughing away and cracking jokes, only to see glass pieces strewn around the sides of my car. A chill ran down my spine.

I rushed to the car and found that my rear window was broken open. My backpack with the camera was not seen. My heart almost stopped. My camera being taken away is the last thing I wished in my life. And there it had happened - I could do nothing. I felt a strange fear. And my friend's laptop bag was missing too (not with laptop, but with books et al).

I immediately called 911. Ten minutes later, a cop arrived, enquired about the theft, asked some basic questions, prepared a police report and gave it to me.

I asked her about the odds of getting my stuff back. She calmly replied that the closest surveilence camera was quite far from the place I parked my car and that it rotates, creating abundant blind spots. Also, such thefts happen in less than 30 seconds, making it impossible to capture clear evidence in the surveilence camera. In my mind, the answer translated to a 'You wont get the camera back'. That, from a cop in the second largest mall in US.

Of all my gadgets, there are two things I love the most - my camera and my phone. I would have given most of what I have to get my camera back. But at times, life appears to hit hard. Very hard. Along with the camera, I also lost my bluetooth headset (a gift), my iphone earphones, work ID card and such day-today stuffs. Hearty good bye to all of them.

I have applied for claim through my renter's insurance and hope I get some money back - keeping my fingers crossed.

And in parallel, I'm researching for my next camera, hopefully a better one! And I promise to myself that I'll never keep bags visible in my car.

All said and done, I just cant forget this day that easily. Life seems bitterly unfair.

State of Play

...a movie which keeps one up through-out, even during a back to back movie session (after watching this) and the show timing being 12 am. Ben Affleck was naturally good, Russel Crowe seemed being at his coolest best, and Rachel McAdams as cute as ever! A good movie.

17 Again...

Yawn.

An episode at the hospital!

Falling sick is the last thing one wants. And visiting a Doctor is the thing after the last thing one wants. And if the doctor carries a injection, thats the thing after the thing after the last thing one wants. Ok, you get the idea.

Last week I was down with cold and fever for a good 5 days. What started as a mild cold graduated itself into a matured cough-attack which then blossomed into a solid flue-stint and then stagnated itself showing no signs of growth nor exit. 

"I'm a survivor" I said to myself and fought the germs. Evenings they would seem to subside and as I feel better and sleep, they attack with full blow. Those germ bastards.

Attempting to work from (not for) home did not offer the solution. Sleeping in the bed for hours together (alone!) did not help either. For a guy who normally says "Aeemm, I'll rough it out", this fever seemed one of its kind.

I realized I was fighting a losing battle and decided to go see a Doctor (inspite of a well-wishing friend who warned that the doctor most likely say 'It's nothing. Go home and take rest. You'll be fine').

Being somebody who hates appointments (and the gargantuan wait time associated with it), I walked into the Emergency care center at a hospital right next to my apartment. After registering my name, I waited in the reception area for about 20 minutes. I was then ushered into one of the emergency rooms and made to sit in a stretcher. 

A nurse stopped by and asked me 'what do we have here, sir?'. I said 'I have fever and cold that wouldn't subside'. She asked 'Anything else?'. I said 'No'. She asked  'Are you sure? do you have breathing problems or any such emergency?'. I said 'No'. She looked at me a for a moment, as if she was going to ask 'why the hell did you come to ER then?!'. Instead, she said 'A doctor will come and see you shortly sir', and disappeared.

Two hours passed by. Before I fainted with a mixed feeling of hunger, tiredness and angst, an old doctor entered the room saying 'Hi'. I returned the pleasantry. "So, what brings you here today?!", asked the doctor. I offered the same reply for the third time. 'Just fever?', 'Yes'. 'Okay' said the doctor and got into action.

He took a torch with a pointed lens and he inserted that into my ears to see what's happening inside. He jerked out immediately saying he can't see much, but as far as he can see, I was all clear. He moved to the next ear. This time, he did not even enter - he slowly said 'Interesting!'

'What?', I asked. "On the outside rim of your ear, you have a pimple. We need to get rid of that first" said the doctor and walked out. Before I could realise, he came back with a small injection. I freaked out. He understood and said 'No, dont worry - it'll be a small prick'. Knowing that's the universal doctor's language of saying 'you are gonna be punctured dude!', I said 'I hate injections doctor, should we do this now?!'.

'Oh definitely' he replied as readied himself with the torch light and the injection weapon. I closed my fist and my eyes as tight as I could and expected a prick. One hell of a prick it was. I screamed mildly and thought it was done. The doctor attempted again and 'bang!', another prick. I almost called him names, when the doctor mildly said 'whatever is in there doesn't want to let go that easily'. So are you, I thought. 

He then threw the injection into the trash and I saw blood on his hands. F*ck! "Is that my blood?' I asked the doctor. He replied 'yes, but don't worry. I'll go get some bandage' and gave me some cotton to try and hold the blood. My fever was long gone.

Doctor came back with a bandage and put it across my ears as he said 'a slightly awkward place for a band-aid, ain't it?!' He laughed. Damn your humour, I thought. He then said 'your fever is a minor viral infection. It's nothing. Go home and take rest. You'll be fine'.

I thought of my clairvoyant friend, as I walked out of the hospital with a bandage on my ears and my wallet emptied by about 80 bucks.

Unknown...!

After a fulfilling 10 day road trip, I was royally subjected to the super fun of catching up with work, which took me another 10 days incurring more excitement than the trip itself. A total control freak I am, I find it a little difficult to agree something can happen right without my involvement, even partially. One thing leading to another, last night I ended up sitting on my couch wondering why is there just 24 hours a day. Just not enough, I said to myself like a scientist.

That spark of thought triggered more thoughts than my naive brain could answer. With limited span of human life, one gets a feeling that there is a lot that goes unachieved or even unrealized. There are so many places in this world (or universe?) that I may never get to visit. There are so many books that I may never get to read. There are so many good music that I may never get to hear.

There are so many cuisines that I may never get to taste. There are so many different climates that I may never get to feel. There are so many people I may never get to meet. There are so many technologies I may never get to lay my hands on.

The list, I guess, never ends.

Average human life span of around 65 years is simply not enough.

I watch 'Universe' TV series and marvel at our humungous universe. To make a one way trip to Pluto (in the fastest means known to humans), they say it takes around 10 years. And for further analysis and conclusions, it might take a few more years. One has to positively dedicate a good chunk of his lifetime for such research. Yet, there would be much more to still figure out.

Comparing the magnificence of things around us, humans seem pitiably small and endowed with minuscule time interval for what we call Life. Maybe, one needs more than just one birth to understand things a little better.

Only if I have the power to pace ahead of time (and space) to find out the unknown - But if I do, I promise I’ll write a blogpost.

Fast and Furious...

...is extremely fast most of the time and soporifically slow at others.

You would like this movie, if you are one who likes drooling at nice looking cars, not knowing that they would be destroyed to pieces in the very next scene; and also, if you are not aware that there are winding tunnels under the mountains on the US-Mexico border.

Adventureland...

...one of those 'light' movies which is not as funny. (Just that it inspired me and a couple of friends to play dart game at the beach and win a monkey!)

Knowing...

...certainly does not fall under the genre they say it belongs to. I hate sci-fi and the likes, but I loved this one.

That too, since the whole concept was close to what I once pondered, this movie made a whole lot sense to me!

I love you, man!

The hero has never had boy friends in his life. As his wedding approaches, he realizes he needs a 'best man'. All his attempted 'man-dates' flop.

He then stumbles upon this cool guy who seems as careless & irresponsible a person God has ever created in this planet. He drives a vespa, looks for single divorcees, sleeps around and deliberately refuses to clean up after his dog. 

The hero and the cool guy become friends, have fun, then fight and part and then finally rejoin. 

Hilarious movie, definitely for men. Cranks out the 'men laughter' in them, as I call it!

Duplicity...

...is a story of how two seemingly smart people (spies turned corporate agents) end up as utter fools.

Needless to say, Julia Roberts was elegant. Other than that, the movie is a total thu!