Alcohol and women...

Being a teetotaler makes life seem futile. And the conception turns silly when the friends of opposite sex, one goes out with, drink margaritas and vodkas. Asking for a virgin drink in a bar is almost considered a capital offense or so the looks of the waiter/waitress convey. But one does not deter. With self-amusing composure, one rephrases and asks for fruit juice. And it indeed is a little sappy to be sipping cranberry juice, when the tablemates are gulping down cocktails.

But perceived with the truest of the thoughts, one feels a little untold pride. And the haze of being called a 'loser' fades away in the pride. One personally enjoys whenever people invite for arguments centering on the 'beaten-to-death' topic of drinking Vs abstaining. Such arguments are delightful and that too, it becomes all the more funny when the arguing person’s blood is so filled with ethyl alcohol.

Talking about drinkers, the other day I went out with a couple of friends to a local Italian restaurant. I was having regular coke and they were having wine. As soon as they said the wine is just so perfect for the evening, I added saying Coke is definitely better at that restaurant. They didn’t seem to understand. In fact, for somebody who drinks, it’s hard to appreciate the 'kick' of a non-alcoholic drink. One of my friends, for the sake of argument, asks me for one good reason for me being a teetotaler and I tell her honestly that the pride of not having touched alcohol yet makes one a stronger abstainer.

She could not readily agree, my other friend joined her and both of them were enjoying this 'lets-convince-Arun-today' business than the wine in the first place. I was having equal fun, trying to come up with answers for all the 'otherwise-valid' questions. After some 20 minutes of vain attempt, one of them showed a little frustration and resorted back to the wine. The other joined. For me, the pride sneaked in. I smiled.

I have always been the solo non-alcoholic person in a alcoholic group. I accompany folks to bars/hotels and invariably hog at the side-dishes meant for the drinkers. And as soon as the drinking starts, if any of the guys talk, I keep telling them to stop the gibber-talks. And if one of the guys walks to the restroom, I mockingly warn him not to dance along the way or bang the waiter.

As more alcohol mixes with the blood and as the guys get 'high' by the drink, triggering them to unexpected expressions and ridiculing is what makes me high.

In spite of the sporadic kicks and blows one might receive, such attempts of ridiculing a drunkard is the funniest experience one can feel thru. Not even watching all the seasons of Seinfeld in one shot can come close. Of course the side and the after-effects of the 'puke' episodes would be like interrupting ESPN abruptly and switching to Doordarshan.

Yet, what I missed to figure out was why some women have a strange attraction towards guys who drink. Maybe they mistakenly think drinking has got to do with manliness or something. Or that’s what I assumed.

But a few days ago, a few of my friend were saying that their strategy is to 'go out' with guys who drink, who dance, who smoke and who call them 'babe'. But at the end of it, they settle down for a guy who symbolizes 'chamathu' types. As much as that logic is confusingly stupid, it blurs me as I don’t fall in either of the cults. And all this when I'm not drunk.

I'm sure only women can confuse and increase the thinking time of men. Not even alcohol!