Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Hail Cloning!

Cloning is what I need to appreciate, embrace and live with. That is the only technology which would serve as an absolute salvage to human-kind. The immaculate re-creation of people without affecting the originals! And when I say cloning, I would want to clone anybody I want, just in a jiffy. Say for example, today I can have my 2nd std Math teacher cloned and be taught with counting of numbers up to 1000 and reciting tables from 1 to 10 (starting with 1 1's are 1, 1 2's are 2 and so on...). And then I can clone my first girl friend 'gf1' from my 3rd std and have her sit right next to me. This time, it is ok if she picks up a fight with me when I unknowingly enter her portion of the seat across the ‘marked_with_a_geometric_compass’ border. I can always get a Bangalore rose for her next day and say 'truce' like I did back then. And maybe I can have my 'moron_in_disguise' classmate called Yuvraj cloned and invite him to a game of 'book cricket' and beat him hands down. That would just be the answer to what he did to me back in 6th std. Then I would clone my next girl friend 'gf2' from 8th std. And this time, I would not shy away and smile like a loser, because she uttered my name once complaining to the teacher that I spoke a Tamil word in the English class. I would rather continue speaking in Tamil mentioning crap like human-rights, kabali’s ishtam and so on.

Then I would clone my next girl friend ‘gf3’ from higher secondary. And this time, I would let her be the topper. And I would vow not to tie her hair-plait with the next girl. After all, I wouldn’t want to get into “hair-like” problems. And maybe I would then clone my 'No_idiot_like_him_in_this_world' Vice principal from my college and just beat him up until he sees the entrance to hell, but not enter it. All that would be a fitting reply to his stupid tyranny. And then I would clone all my ex-girl friends from college 'gf4', 'gf5'...'gfn'. This time around, I would spend quality time with them and avoid most of my PJ’s. Then I would clone my other ex-girl friends from work ‘gfn+1’, ‘gfn+2’…’gfn+n’. This time, I would cautiously decrease the amount of time I spend with them and deliberately increase the number of my PJ’s. And to avoid ignorant partiality rooting from the third world, I would want to clone a few of my selected friends who made a difference in my life.

And finally, I would want all of the aforementioned people to appear when I need them. And 'ppppoooofffff' - they should go away when I don't need them.

Cloning is the salvage. Really!

9 comments:

Gayatri said...

Kabali, I have only one doubt! Ivangalakku ellam US visa yaaru kuduppa?

Sindhu said...

hehe..hilarious post...but do u think the clones would react in the same way tht the originals did?:)

Anonymous said...

yet another GF post!!!!!! in the name of cloning :-)

Ela said...

Sure...it could be done....each cloning will cost you around 1000 USD and i can give you a special concession of 200 USD for every fifth cloning...Although i don't mix friendships with my profession, as a fellow blogger i can give you some special privileges! like mixing some characters from ur gf3 with gf 5 etc etc...so that u can save some money...

One more advice....even before u wonder about gayatri's doubt, try to find out quite good caregivers for all the cloned babies!

Anonymous said...

R u going to clone all ur GFs or the one we were discussing yesterday ?? Jus clone one K----i machi ... that is enough to screw ur life :)

- Vijai

Arun Sundar said...

Gayatri,
What is this small child-like question? Clones don't need Visa. If at all they need, Kabali would clone visas too :)

Sindhu,
Thanks. I'd clone them the way I want. To behave like originals. Thats why they are called clones, aren't they? ;)

Anonymous,
Listen to me and believe me - this world would come to a stop if I dont talk about girls .

Ela,
So you are a scientist, huh? We get that. And 1000 USD is too costly. Kattu padi aagaathu kabali'kku. And keep your mixing of chemicals from one test tube to another inside your labs and not into my cloning exercise. I want each of the clones as originals. No care-givers for clones. When I dont need them, "ppppooooofff" - they'd be gone.

Vijai,
You dont want me to be happy, do you?

Anonymous said...

college VP unna thurathitu mahabs vanthathunaalathaana avara nee innum marakama irruka........btw kathirikai and aanthaya list-la add panna maranthuta...

Arun Sundar said...

hey anon,
U know our VP, kathirikai and aandha. Who by the way r u??

Anonymous said...

unnoda innoru post-la en peeru irruku, mudinja kandupidichiko......

sari, pona pogatum oru clue thareen, 2-3 posts-la idehey date-la comments irrukum, adhula oru post end-la en sign irruku :)