"But who cares?!", one may ask.
"Nobody", the other answers.
"So why the post?", one may ask.
"Faineance!", the other answers.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
I ring thou talk!
Story told by a mobile phone, in its own words:
Being a mobile phone, my life does not get very easy. I remember how I stepped into this world as a baby. I was more like a second brother to Indian brick. And I was considered 'tiny' back then. You all remember the sony Ericcson ad, dont you? And babies are generally supposed to get bigger as they grow. But I grew otherwise. I started becoming smaller and slimmer. People wanted me to be small yet powerful. I grew to a size that a matchbox normally envies. And you being my owner felt pride. I then got colorful. Then I sounded polyphonic. I climbed levels from one to dual sim. I looked at camera. It became part of me. I looked at Television. It became part of me. I looked at computers. I almost became them. Then I provided myself to you in full 'touch' mode. You touched me and I responded. I did not stop there. I wanted to be the 'cool' gadget. I no longer wanted to be an ordinary. I gave myself to you with finger-scrolling and efficient browsing. I did want you to get lost. I provided navigation.
I do have features now. But more than the features, my contribution to this world and the society is what gives me the 'feel good' factor. Makes me take pride in what I do daily. Let’s consider some examples: We have this girl who makes one wonder if she has earned her master's degree in typing using the mobile keypad. Her eyes would be completely affixed on the screen in the movie theatre, but her hands still typing at rocket speed. And there would be no single mistake. I wonder if they type even when they are asleep. Maybe they do. Next, there are these auto drivers and cabbies, who always have a hands-free wire hanging from their ears that travels to somewhere inside their shirt. No matter whether they talk or not. The wire is the key; they just can't get rid of it. If they start talking, they never stop. At times, I even wonder if they work for a BPO, in addition to driving cabs.
And then there are these 'techy' guys who keep browsing using me, no matter whether they are crossing a busy road or smoking or having coffee or even eating dinner. They keep browsing if even somebody is talking to them. They don't browse only when they are bathing and doing three other things (you all know what). And there are these dads, who simply take pride for achieving tasks like adding a new contact or sending an sms successfully. They would simply talk about it for days to come. Or exhibit their skills to uncles of their age-group. They wouldn't stop until the visiting uncles appreciate in awe. And finally there are moms who would use me for nothing more than attending calls. They wouldn't even pick me up and dial a number. They are so used to the landline phones that they find me 'too small' or 'too technically complicated'. They can use a TV remote control with effortless ease, but not me.
In addition, there is this one guy whom I should really talk about: This guy bought his first cell phone while he was in college. When everybody was addressing me as a 'Cell Phone', he called me a 'Mobile'. He after all wanted to differentiate me from the big-old cordless phone he had in his home. I just can't count the number of times he fought thru me with his girl-friends. And he would come straight to me, when he wanted to pacify with them. Poor soul he was. And I was there for him, whenever his parents were around at home, which means he can’t use the landline phone. He would take me to the terrace and make all secret calls. I never told anybody all this.
He grew up. He got a job. He wanted a better me. He bought a smart phone. This is when he used me more than for what I was created. I should say he literally fucked me. He called it 'Customizing me'. There was not a single symbian software that was left out, which did not sit on me. Apart from all this, he used me for calls for at least 5 hrs a day on the average. Thanks to what they call as 'Closed User Group' and those people who were as jobless as him, there was nothing that could stop him. I got a little wild and started heating up. I wanted that idiot's ears burned up one day. I thought that would slow him down. But he switched to a blue tooth headset. My usage did not decrease though.
After two long years, he decided he would say good bye to Symbian and move to Windows mobile. That’s when the 'current me' came to his hands. And if I said that he fucked the previous phone, I should say he rapes me on a daily basis. At times, on an hourly basis. And his usage has increased to the extent that he even types blogposts using me - like this one. He needs me to remind him as to what needs to be done when. He needs me to wake him up in the morning. And promptlly intimate me whenever somebody sends him an e-mail. And I need to remind him when he needs to pay bills, call somebody for their b’day. Simply speaking, he needs to be told what to be done when. And he needs me to tell him directions when he drives.
And in spite of all the different forms I have taken and all the physical hurts I have withstood bcoz of his super-rough handling, my relationship with him has lasted for over 5 long happy years now. And today, we have reached a juncture where he would be totally handicapped if I get away from him, even for a day. Like most of you reading this, he has made myself more than a part of his life. I have reached a stage where I have become an inevitable part of most human's life. It does make me proud at times in the movie theatre when they roll courtesy announcements asking people to switch their cell phones off. This is a privilege no other gadgets receive! I sure can spoil the movie-watching experience, can’t I? The same applies to official meetings or at temples or even at hospitals. I do turn to be annoying at times as much as I am a utilitarian. But nevertheless, I'm more than a friend to human.
And you and me, we have a long way to go!
Being a mobile phone, my life does not get very easy. I remember how I stepped into this world as a baby. I was more like a second brother to Indian brick. And I was considered 'tiny' back then. You all remember the sony Ericcson ad, dont you? And babies are generally supposed to get bigger as they grow. But I grew otherwise. I started becoming smaller and slimmer. People wanted me to be small yet powerful. I grew to a size that a matchbox normally envies. And you being my owner felt pride. I then got colorful. Then I sounded polyphonic. I climbed levels from one to dual sim. I looked at camera. It became part of me. I looked at Television. It became part of me. I looked at computers. I almost became them. Then I provided myself to you in full 'touch' mode. You touched me and I responded. I did not stop there. I wanted to be the 'cool' gadget. I no longer wanted to be an ordinary. I gave myself to you with finger-scrolling and efficient browsing. I did want you to get lost. I provided navigation.
I do have features now. But more than the features, my contribution to this world and the society is what gives me the 'feel good' factor. Makes me take pride in what I do daily. Let’s consider some examples: We have this girl who makes one wonder if she has earned her master's degree in typing using the mobile keypad. Her eyes would be completely affixed on the screen in the movie theatre, but her hands still typing at rocket speed. And there would be no single mistake. I wonder if they type even when they are asleep. Maybe they do. Next, there are these auto drivers and cabbies, who always have a hands-free wire hanging from their ears that travels to somewhere inside their shirt. No matter whether they talk or not. The wire is the key; they just can't get rid of it. If they start talking, they never stop. At times, I even wonder if they work for a BPO, in addition to driving cabs.
And then there are these 'techy' guys who keep browsing using me, no matter whether they are crossing a busy road or smoking or having coffee or even eating dinner. They keep browsing if even somebody is talking to them. They don't browse only when they are bathing and doing three other things (you all know what). And there are these dads, who simply take pride for achieving tasks like adding a new contact or sending an sms successfully. They would simply talk about it for days to come. Or exhibit their skills to uncles of their age-group. They wouldn't stop until the visiting uncles appreciate in awe. And finally there are moms who would use me for nothing more than attending calls. They wouldn't even pick me up and dial a number. They are so used to the landline phones that they find me 'too small' or 'too technically complicated'. They can use a TV remote control with effortless ease, but not me.
In addition, there is this one guy whom I should really talk about: This guy bought his first cell phone while he was in college. When everybody was addressing me as a 'Cell Phone', he called me a 'Mobile'. He after all wanted to differentiate me from the big-old cordless phone he had in his home. I just can't count the number of times he fought thru me with his girl-friends. And he would come straight to me, when he wanted to pacify with them. Poor soul he was. And I was there for him, whenever his parents were around at home, which means he can’t use the landline phone. He would take me to the terrace and make all secret calls. I never told anybody all this.
He grew up. He got a job. He wanted a better me. He bought a smart phone. This is when he used me more than for what I was created. I should say he literally fucked me. He called it 'Customizing me'. There was not a single symbian software that was left out, which did not sit on me. Apart from all this, he used me for calls for at least 5 hrs a day on the average. Thanks to what they call as 'Closed User Group' and those people who were as jobless as him, there was nothing that could stop him. I got a little wild and started heating up. I wanted that idiot's ears burned up one day. I thought that would slow him down. But he switched to a blue tooth headset. My usage did not decrease though.
After two long years, he decided he would say good bye to Symbian and move to Windows mobile. That’s when the 'current me' came to his hands. And if I said that he fucked the previous phone, I should say he rapes me on a daily basis. At times, on an hourly basis. And his usage has increased to the extent that he even types blogposts using me - like this one. He needs me to remind him as to what needs to be done when. He needs me to wake him up in the morning. And promptlly intimate me whenever somebody sends him an e-mail. And I need to remind him when he needs to pay bills, call somebody for their b’day. Simply speaking, he needs to be told what to be done when. And he needs me to tell him directions when he drives.
And in spite of all the different forms I have taken and all the physical hurts I have withstood bcoz of his super-rough handling, my relationship with him has lasted for over 5 long happy years now. And today, we have reached a juncture where he would be totally handicapped if I get away from him, even for a day. Like most of you reading this, he has made myself more than a part of his life. I have reached a stage where I have become an inevitable part of most human's life. It does make me proud at times in the movie theatre when they roll courtesy announcements asking people to switch their cell phones off. This is a privilege no other gadgets receive! I sure can spoil the movie-watching experience, can’t I? The same applies to official meetings or at temples or even at hospitals. I do turn to be annoying at times as much as I am a utilitarian. But nevertheless, I'm more than a friend to human.
And you and me, we have a long way to go!
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Harold and Kumar - Escape from Guantanamo Bay...
Mirthful. 'Eye-wetting-Hands-spatting-Face-grinning' funny.
Liked it!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Cam'pai(g)n'
Not even a single TV channel is spared from this lady vs gent election campaign.
Tamilnadu Thaatha and Amma are slightly better!
Tamilnadu Thaatha and Amma are slightly better!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
The Forbidden Kingdom...
...an action movie for kids in the age group 6-15 years.
For others, its The Focussed Boredom!
For others, its The Focussed Boredom!
Friday, April 18, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
25 years of head-banging fun!
One starts a software life totally excited,
Does work and slogs completely satisfied,
Mental fatigue and confusion pitches in uninvited,
Retirement mixed with weariness invites earlier than expected!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Noisy People
People who laugh boisterously at work place should be made to sit comfortably, tied and then slowly spoon fed with simmering lead.
What the hell else can one do about those completely oblivious fatuous jerks?
What the hell else can one do about those completely oblivious fatuous jerks?
Monday, April 14, 2008
Extinct...
...are those educated/working youths who do not have atleast one past relationship.
Pity surmounts one's heart!
Pity surmounts one's heart!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Title keetle!
Caution: Heavy usage of Tamil words and sentences in this post.
Dont look at the title like that. Thats how some thamizhians speak. They utter a word and closely follow it with another word, which absolutely rhymes with the first word, but never makes any sense. For eg., one might say "Kavidha Gividha ezhudhariyaa??" The second word in this sentence gives no meaning either in the sentence or stand-alone. But people still say it. There are many such examples - "love'vu givv'vu pannida poraa!" and then "phone gheene panna vendiyadhu dhaaney?!" and then "MBA Gim'BA padikkalaam'la?". I wonder if there would be an explanation for such a behaviour.
In English when people speak they might use something called as fillers in the sentences. Words such as "like", "You know" go as right examples. One might say "I was driving last night and there was this....errr....like....you know.....a small robin on the road". Such fillers are used to fill the time-gap between the brain finding out the right word and uttering it. It is something like a "Sorry for the Interruption" message that used to appear in Doordarshan TV channel those days, before "Over to Delhi" message. These fillers in english language can also be thought of as an avenue to buy some time before the brain finds the right word to utter in the right place. I think a similar filler logic would have caused this rhyming-nonsensical words in thamizh too.
On a different note, Thamizhians in those days used to converse using poems and songs. A dude would say "Kanne shaanthaa, Un idai azhagum, kayal vizhiyum ennai kavargirathu. Vaa, ennodu. Selvom veru naadu" And shaantha would reply "Naadha, thangal sitham en bhagyam. Selvom. Velvom". One would obviously notice the rhyming words that props up in the sentences every now and then. As years passed, the dialects slowly changed. People slowly brought in colloquial usage of words. They got rid of "Naadha, Kanne, sitham, bhagyam", etc., They resorted to more of what we are used to these days. Today, a guy would say something like "Hey, sooper'a irukka nee. Odi polaam variyaa?" and Shaantha would reply "Unakku ok'na enakkum ok dhaan. Polaam". This can be considered normal and contemporary. But there are some folks who could not get over those kavidhai-kalandha thamizh. They somehow wanted to sneek rhyming words in between. And such folks would exchange conversations(in the same context as before) like "Hey, azhagaa irukka. Odi Geedi polaama'nu thonudhu!!" and Shaantha would reply "Poi gei sollaliyae nee? Seri polaam vaa". They actually don't care if the rhyming word makes any sense.
Coming back to the title, the rhyming-nonsensical words shuld have originated either from the fillers in other languages or from "kavidhai" usage in our own langauge. Forgetting the root cause(who cares after all!), the idea of this analysis came to me during one of the meetings yesterday. My Delivery Manager was discussing about one of the super-smart client employees and how careful one needs to be with him. As he was talking he said "We have to make sure he doesn't go and say something to Cindy Guindy!". Cindy is the director here, but I dont know who that Guindy was. I later found out that the delivery manager is a thamizhian too and he is so used to rhyming-nonsensical words that he cant refrain from uttering them while speaking in English too. I sort of tried very hard to control myself and not to laugh on his face in the meeting, as the word "Guindy" kept repeating itself in my mind. Funny fellow! He wasn't even aware that he uttered such a non-sense and kept speaking strategy so seriously.
A great philosopher once said,
"Every single person in this world is a joker in themselves. One has to look at them with the right perspective to laugh at!"
Dont look at the title like that. Thats how some thamizhians speak. They utter a word and closely follow it with another word, which absolutely rhymes with the first word, but never makes any sense. For eg., one might say "Kavidha Gividha ezhudhariyaa??" The second word in this sentence gives no meaning either in the sentence or stand-alone. But people still say it. There are many such examples - "love'vu givv'vu pannida poraa!" and then "phone gheene panna vendiyadhu dhaaney?!" and then "MBA Gim'BA padikkalaam'la?". I wonder if there would be an explanation for such a behaviour.
In English when people speak they might use something called as fillers in the sentences. Words such as "like", "You know" go as right examples. One might say "I was driving last night and there was this....errr....like....you know.....a small robin on the road". Such fillers are used to fill the time-gap between the brain finding out the right word and uttering it. It is something like a "Sorry for the Interruption" message that used to appear in Doordarshan TV channel those days, before "Over to Delhi" message. These fillers in english language can also be thought of as an avenue to buy some time before the brain finds the right word to utter in the right place. I think a similar filler logic would have caused this rhyming-nonsensical words in thamizh too.
On a different note, Thamizhians in those days used to converse using poems and songs. A dude would say "Kanne shaanthaa, Un idai azhagum, kayal vizhiyum ennai kavargirathu. Vaa, ennodu. Selvom veru naadu" And shaantha would reply "Naadha, thangal sitham en bhagyam. Selvom. Velvom". One would obviously notice the rhyming words that props up in the sentences every now and then. As years passed, the dialects slowly changed. People slowly brought in colloquial usage of words. They got rid of "Naadha, Kanne, sitham, bhagyam", etc., They resorted to more of what we are used to these days. Today, a guy would say something like "Hey, sooper'a irukka nee. Odi polaam variyaa?" and Shaantha would reply "Unakku ok'na enakkum ok dhaan. Polaam". This can be considered normal and contemporary. But there are some folks who could not get over those kavidhai-kalandha thamizh. They somehow wanted to sneek rhyming words in between. And such folks would exchange conversations(in the same context as before) like "Hey, azhagaa irukka. Odi Geedi polaama'nu thonudhu!!" and Shaantha would reply "Poi gei sollaliyae nee? Seri polaam vaa". They actually don't care if the rhyming word makes any sense.
Coming back to the title, the rhyming-nonsensical words shuld have originated either from the fillers in other languages or from "kavidhai" usage in our own langauge. Forgetting the root cause(who cares after all!), the idea of this analysis came to me during one of the meetings yesterday. My Delivery Manager was discussing about one of the super-smart client employees and how careful one needs to be with him. As he was talking he said "We have to make sure he doesn't go and say something to Cindy Guindy!". Cindy is the director here, but I dont know who that Guindy was. I later found out that the delivery manager is a thamizhian too and he is so used to rhyming-nonsensical words that he cant refrain from uttering them while speaking in English too. I sort of tried very hard to control myself and not to laugh on his face in the meeting, as the word "Guindy" kept repeating itself in my mind. Funny fellow! He wasn't even aware that he uttered such a non-sense and kept speaking strategy so seriously.
A great philosopher once said,
"Every single person in this world is a joker in themselves. One has to look at them with the right perspective to laugh at!"
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Observant Women
In the first one hour at work this morning, I ran into 8 people from my team (6 of them being men and 2 women). They all asked how my vacation to Florida was and I had my standard answer "short!" But the women didn't stop with just that. They went one step ahead and showcased their observational skills meticulously. They both casually said that I got some nice tan. I gotta admit that my skin is a little sensitive and shows up change in color pretty fast. But this time, the tanning (thanks to the Sun, he was scorching and heating the soil to 85 F) I thought wasn't all that starkly blatant. But these women they find out. And my boss she asked me if I slept at all in the last 3 days. Maybe my eyes showed.
In general, I have observed that women observe a lot. They know you and that’s it - they have this ability to sense the minutest change. This is especially amazing, when most of the guys would not recognize the change, even after a lucid explanation. I go to work with a half-sleeved shirt, one of my lady colleagues would be the 1st to ask me about it. I have a hair-cut, one of the ladies would ask. I don’t shave and go to work, one of the ladies would ask. I don’t get a proper sleep last night and get a small black circle around my eyes, one of the ladies would ask first. It's just not at work it works the same way with my friends circle too. When guys don’t notice or have a problem with me not tucking my shirt, most of the ladies would. They would at least ask me for an explanation.
Maybe it’s the way women are created to be - to find out all minute details and to candidly ask about it too. Considering me, I find it a little difficult to notice changes in people, unless they make it too-obvious-so-one-can-never-miss types. Hypothetically for example my male project manager dressing up in a silk saree or my fat female colleague sporting a bikini to work or my peers walking in the cafetaria in NASA space-suits. Other than such clamant changes, I react the same way to them. I once even missed out noticing when one of my cousins asked me if I notice any change in her face. She actually had a "nose-poke"(is that what they call it?) and in spite of her wearing a nose-ring, I blinked and guessed if she did some hair-coloring. Though not all men are as stupid, most of them fail to notice small changes in people. But almost all women on seeing somebody get to the job quickly and scan for the change. And adeptly identify it too. Maybe that’s the same reason Indian women are obsessed about purchasing bling bling jewelry and silk sarees. And make sure that they showcase in the weddings and public functions.
They are so smart that when lady1 sees lady2 in a wedding, she instantly saves the details of lady2 along with her attributes (like color of the saree, type of the jewelry, amount of jewelry, etc.). The next time they meet in a common function, lady1 would do a quick scan and compare her current sight to what is already stored in her database. If she finds a match, this is how the conversation would mostly be like:
lady1: "Oh! You are wearing the same necklace that you wore last time around too!"
lady2: "Yaa, just like your third bangle from the front on your left hand. I saw you wearing that last week in Ravi's wedding too".
lady2: "??!!"
One can see this kind of a behavioral trend, not just in weddings but in all women-women encounters. When college girls meet up, most of the conversations would involve at some point or the other "Hey, this earring is so cute" or "hey, this outfit suits u so well" or "you must not have wore a dupatta for this" or whatever. Even small girl kids from school when they interact would talk about their plaited hairs or their uniform skirts. And I have seen my Paati talk about how her Madisaar looks rich compared to her counter-part-neighbor Vanaja Maami. After all this, I tend to jump to a conclusion that women in general are pretty observant.
So, women get used to correctly identifying the change in the other person, ask for an explanation and get what they look for most of the times. And slowly they extend this behavior towards men too. And gradually towards everything around them. They know if something in their surrounding changes. Even to a very small extent. After all, it is of course nice to be noticed at times. At other times, it might not.
But the bottom-line is one can never try to escape women!
In general, I have observed that women observe a lot. They know you and that’s it - they have this ability to sense the minutest change. This is especially amazing, when most of the guys would not recognize the change, even after a lucid explanation. I go to work with a half-sleeved shirt, one of my lady colleagues would be the 1st to ask me about it. I have a hair-cut, one of the ladies would ask. I don’t shave and go to work, one of the ladies would ask. I don’t get a proper sleep last night and get a small black circle around my eyes, one of the ladies would ask first. It's just not at work it works the same way with my friends circle too. When guys don’t notice or have a problem with me not tucking my shirt, most of the ladies would. They would at least ask me for an explanation.
Maybe it’s the way women are created to be - to find out all minute details and to candidly ask about it too. Considering me, I find it a little difficult to notice changes in people, unless they make it too-obvious-so-one-can-never-miss types. Hypothetically for example my male project manager dressing up in a silk saree or my fat female colleague sporting a bikini to work or my peers walking in the cafetaria in NASA space-suits. Other than such clamant changes, I react the same way to them. I once even missed out noticing when one of my cousins asked me if I notice any change in her face. She actually had a "nose-poke"(is that what they call it?) and in spite of her wearing a nose-ring, I blinked and guessed if she did some hair-coloring. Though not all men are as stupid, most of them fail to notice small changes in people. But almost all women on seeing somebody get to the job quickly and scan for the change. And adeptly identify it too. Maybe that’s the same reason Indian women are obsessed about purchasing bling bling jewelry and silk sarees. And make sure that they showcase in the weddings and public functions.
They are so smart that when lady1 sees lady2 in a wedding, she instantly saves the details of lady2 along with her attributes (like color of the saree, type of the jewelry, amount of jewelry, etc.). The next time they meet in a common function, lady1 would do a quick scan and compare her current sight to what is already stored in her database. If she finds a match, this is how the conversation would mostly be like:
lady1: "Oh! You are wearing the same necklace that you wore last time around too!"
lady2: "Yaa, just like your third bangle from the front on your left hand. I saw you wearing that last week in Ravi's wedding too".
lady2: "??!!"
One can see this kind of a behavioral trend, not just in weddings but in all women-women encounters. When college girls meet up, most of the conversations would involve at some point or the other "Hey, this earring is so cute" or "hey, this outfit suits u so well" or "you must not have wore a dupatta for this" or whatever. Even small girl kids from school when they interact would talk about their plaited hairs or their uniform skirts. And I have seen my Paati talk about how her Madisaar looks rich compared to her counter-part-neighbor Vanaja Maami. After all this, I tend to jump to a conclusion that women in general are pretty observant.
So, women get used to correctly identifying the change in the other person, ask for an explanation and get what they look for most of the times. And slowly they extend this behavior towards men too. And gradually towards everything around them. They know if something in their surrounding changes. Even to a very small extent. After all, it is of course nice to be noticed at times. At other times, it might not.
But the bottom-line is one can never try to escape women!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
Fever...
...is unarguably horrible. It torments one, brings abundant unwanted memories and makes one crave for things that are known not to be given even after uninterrupted desperate yearning.
Fever is so damn wrong. Somebody open the window and let some wrong out.
Fever is so damn wrong. Somebody open the window and let some wrong out.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Barbarians...
When we want to communicate something, we close the shops and block the buses. We also black out cable TV channels and ransack restaurants. We don't mind if in the process we hurt/injure innocent people. This is how we revolt. We don't think twice before doing activities like these. We even don't care if we are fighting with a neighboring state. All we want is violence. We strongly beleive that would solve the problem.
Because we are all uncivilized barbarians. We ought to be living with Neanderthals and while our day away hunting Mammoths.
Signed:
Rioters - where there is a problem we are there!
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