Monday, April 28, 2008

I ring thou talk!

Story told by a mobile phone, in its own words:

Being a mobile phone, my life does not get very easy. I remember how I stepped into this world as a baby. I was more like a second brother to Indian brick. And I was considered 'tiny' back then. You all remember the sony Ericcson ad, dont you? And babies are generally supposed to get bigger as they grow. But I grew otherwise. I started becoming smaller and slimmer. People wanted me to be small yet powerful. I grew to a size that a matchbox normally envies. And you being my owner felt pride. I then got colorful. Then I sounded polyphonic. I climbed levels from one to dual sim. I looked at camera. It became part of me. I looked at Television. It became part of me. I looked at computers. I almost became them. Then I provided myself to you in full 'touch' mode. You touched me and I responded. I did not stop there. I wanted to be the 'cool' gadget. I no longer wanted to be an ordinary. I gave myself to you with finger-scrolling and efficient browsing. I did want you to get lost. I provided navigation.

I do have features now. But more than the features, my contribution to this world and the society is what gives me the 'feel good' factor. Makes me take pride in what I do daily. Let’s consider some examples: We have this girl who makes one wonder if she has earned her master's degree in typing using the mobile keypad. Her eyes would be completely affixed on the screen in the movie theatre, but her hands still typing at rocket speed. And there would be no single mistake. I wonder if they type even when they are asleep. Maybe they do. Next, there are these auto drivers and cabbies, who always have a hands-free wire hanging from their ears that travels to somewhere inside their shirt. No matter whether they talk or not. The wire is the key; they just can't get rid of it. If they start talking, they never stop. At times, I even wonder if they work for a BPO, in addition to driving cabs.

And then there are these 'techy' guys who keep browsing using me, no matter whether they are crossing a busy road or smoking or having coffee or even eating dinner. They keep browsing if even somebody is talking to them. They don't browse only when they are bathing and doing three other things (you all know what). And there are these dads, who simply take pride for achieving tasks like adding a new contact or sending an sms successfully. They would simply talk about it for days to come. Or exhibit their skills to uncles of their age-group. They wouldn't stop until the visiting uncles appreciate in awe. And finally there are moms who would use me for nothing more than attending calls. They wouldn't even pick me up and dial a number. They are so used to the landline phones that they find me 'too small' or 'too technically complicated'. They can use a TV remote control with effortless ease, but not me.

In addition, there is this one guy whom I should really talk about: This guy bought his first cell phone while he was in college. When everybody was addressing me as a 'Cell Phone', he called me a 'Mobile'. He after all wanted to differentiate me from the big-old cordless phone he had in his home. I just can't count the number of times he fought thru me with his girl-friends. And he would come straight to me, when he wanted to pacify with them. Poor soul he was. And I was there for him, whenever his parents were around at home, which means he can’t use the landline phone. He would take me to the terrace and make all secret calls. I never told anybody all this.

He grew up. He got a job. He wanted a better me. He bought a smart phone. This is when he used me more than for what I was created. I should say he literally fucked me. He called it 'Customizing me'. There was not a single symbian software that was left out, which did not sit on me. Apart from all this, he used me for calls for at least 5 hrs a day on the average. Thanks to what they call as 'Closed User Group' and those people who were as jobless as him, there was nothing that could stop him. I got a little wild and started heating up. I wanted that idiot's ears burned up one day. I thought that would slow him down. But he switched to a blue tooth headset. My usage did not decrease though.

After two long years, he decided he would say good bye to Symbian and move to Windows mobile. That’s when the 'current me' came to his hands. And if I said that he fucked the previous phone, I should say he rapes me on a daily basis. At times, on an hourly basis. And his usage has increased to the extent that he even types blogposts using me - like this one. He needs me to remind him as to what needs to be done when. He needs me to wake him up in the morning. And promptlly intimate me whenever somebody sends him an e-mail. And I need to remind him when he needs to pay bills, call somebody for their b’day. Simply speaking, he needs to be told what to be done when. And he needs me to tell him directions when he drives.

And in spite of all the different forms I have taken and all the physical hurts I have withstood bcoz of his super-rough handling, my relationship with him has lasted for over 5 long happy years now. And today, we have reached a juncture where he would be totally handicapped if I get away from him, even for a day. Like most of you reading this, he has made myself more than a part of his life. I have reached a stage where I have become an inevitable part of most human's life. It does make me proud at times in the movie theatre when they roll courtesy announcements asking people to switch their cell phones off. This is a privilege no other gadgets receive! I sure can spoil the movie-watching experience, can’t I? The same applies to official meetings or at temples or even at hospitals. I do turn to be annoying at times as much as I am a utilitarian. But nevertheless, I'm more than a friend to human.

And you and me, we have a long way to go!


maxdavinci said...

I have a tilt as well, i use it for gps, calendar etc apart from the fone.

but blogging? OMG....

wat apps have you got on it?

Arun Sundar said...

Hey max,
Great to know u have a tilt as well :) I do have lotta apps - most freq used ones include google maps, windows live, skype, octrotalk and Opera mini. And I use SEVEN for push mail and Tomtom for gps. I hv Resco keyboard/HTC photo viewer to mock the iphone shit ;) And some more trivial apps.

Vinesh said...

wah - what a biography! :-)

"my current owner rapes me"? hahaha

Prashanth said...


Windows mobile apps ellam line katti sollu ba!

Gayatri said...

paathu pa, ulla pidichu poda poranga!

PREETI said...

My phone is ultra sadha 100-yr old 6600...and i ill-treat it beyond wordz...inda 2 day weekend laye its fallen down a million they say, en phoneku vaay irunda azhum! :-/

Anonymous said...

hehaaha...I still live in the brick age, I carry a 6300, and use it for nothing more than receiving calls from Vaappa and Mma if I'm late from the office.. :D yeah, once in a while, I do talk to my friends too.. En phone avlo paavamilla pa.. :D

I miss playing Snake 2 in 3315.. :(

Rayees Ahamed said...


I have handled many gadgets including the windows mobile, but seriously i am in love with my nokia 1100 .. soopar mobile :) ...

Arun Sundar said...

He does rape the phone. Poor him.

Y peelings? google irukka bayam yaen?

Nokia phone vechu irukkarangalukku ellaam reply panradhu illa.

I'm a grown up, else i'd have said 'Same pinch!'. My prev phone was a 6600 too, and I still have it. Adhu enna 100-yr old? Pazhasukku build-up'a?

Snake 2?? are part of a big cult out there in Chennai I beleive :)

1100? andha torch light dhaaney?

Sabari said...

kewl post.....but cycle gap-la un college life secert ellam veliya vitutie kabali ;) .....i guess u r a gr8 beliver of "no life without ladies" :) :) :) ella blog-layum ethachum oru chance eduthu oru lady intro koduthidura.....

again nice bolg dude...keep rocking....

PREETI said...

Build-up e dan...Exaggeration is my favourite form of expression u c! :D And actually if you see, it's one 3rd generation phone...Sis bought it from a friend who had used it for a week,she abused it for 3 yrs and then gave it to me when she gt married cuz my dad gave her a super inda picha thanama sondha kaasula vanga mudiyama mathavanga kudukara phonela vazharava naan dan!

Dialogue too much huh???

Arun Sundar said...

chumma adichu vuda vendiyadhu dhaan!

Idhukku thooku maatikittu thongalaam. Unna en thangachi'nu sollavey en naaku koosudhu.

rahman said...

Yeah, I can relate to first was the famous N3310.
things have come a long way...moved on to Sony (this was before SonyEricsson came), Samsung, Panasonic (yes, they made phones too!)...and finally back to Nokia; adding a dozen features along the way :D

p.s. Dude, your imagination's working overtime! rock on!

rahman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Supergirl said...

Brilliantly written!